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Hello all,I was just talking to a colleague about problems I am having with a current relationship and he suggested I am possibly a love addict and maybe sex addict too. I have two failed marriages already despite being young and I am unable to end relationships normally, but rather I begin an affair and allow the consequences of that to bring my previous relationship to an end. I have two beautiful children with my second wife but despite this I embarked on a very passionate affair with a married woman with her own child. After months of turbulence with my wife I finally left and set about getting myself a stable life again and being in a position to begin a proper relationship with the other woman. The affair is over eighteen months old and I have been on my own for four of those but there is no real progress towards the new relationship beginning properly. I fear the other woman is possibly also an addict, but lives in fear of what the future holds and thus is waiting for her incredibly tolerant husband to call it a day. I honestly don't know what the situation is there except he is fully aware of everything we have done, hasn't been sexually involved with his wife for nearly a year, but he will forgive anything if she just stays. Meanwhile I don't sleep properly, I lack the energy to take on any meaningful tasks and I pine constantly. I actually want to make this relationship work and have given up alcohol and thus reduced my temptation to make further mistakes. So far so good, but I am very lonely and I don't feel very settled at all. Thankfully things are ok with my ex wife and I see her and the children regularly. However, I do not believe reconcilliation would ever be an answer unless I solve my problems.I don't know if I am displaying the classic symptoms of a love addict, but I know that my attitude towards relationships isn't correct and I won't be truly happy until I work out why.Many thanks.
Can't wait for her
Can't wait for her forever. I suppose the question that first comes to mind is, why doesn't she leave him? Especially if they're no longer having sex. Security, would be the obvious answer. So maybe that's the area you need to work on with her. Or look elsewhere to fill up the lonely gaps. Sometimes you have be dead practical to get on top of the emotional stuff. The Joker
Hi, whilst I would never
Hi, whilst I would never attempt to diagnose another, I know that sex and love addiction is my primary addiction and I got alot of identification from what you wrote which suggests to me that you may well suffer from this horrible disease. I don't know where you live but if you are able, the best thing to do at this stage is to get yourself to some meetings and simply sit and listen. It is suggested in the fellowship that you attend 6 meetings (before making a decision to commit to the programme) and from this you will be able to make an informed decision. My sense is that you will find a great deal of identification and probably come to the conclusion that you do belong in slaa. You might also want to try the 40 self diagnosis questions. When I did these questions I answered yes to 37 out of 40 which kind of speaks for itself!!I know the idea of meetings is rather daunting but they quickly become part of your life and for me have become a life line. I attend 8 meetings a week and need every minute of them however only a few months ago I was completely reluctant to walk through the door!If you live in london the meetings are truly fantastic and full of some amazing recovery and a great deal of strength and hope. I wish you well, its a truly brave thing you have done today and I really hope you are able to get to some meetings soon and that they bring you some comfort. Take care.